Name: J.D. McGillicuddy's
Website: http://www.jdmcgillicuddys.com/locations/ardmore.php
Type: Bar
Location: Ardmore, PA
Occupancy: Multiple
Porcelain: One toilet, one "urinal"
"Cuddy's" is a favorite bar for me and my friends. We have taken over many a Tuesday night with our horrible karaoke abilities. It's a really chill place, and one of the few places I know that actually springs for TRUE HD CABLE on EACH of their HDTVs. So, what's the story with the bathroom? Spoiler alert: it is terrible.
Cleanliness
Really? You can't even keep it clean? This bathroom is messy, gross, and smells like piss. Not looking good so far.
Result: FAIL (no points)
Privacy
This is where I really get peeved. You walk into the closet-sized bathroom, and there is a toilet to your right, and a TROUGH to your left. Not only do you have no privacy for when you really have to go, but the "urinal" is basically a bunch of guys pissing into the same hole. Add on to that the fact that the window is wide open to the adjacent building and that the door DOES NOT HAVE A LOCK ON IT, and you're looking at the worst-case scenario for a bathroom. SHAME ON YOU.
Result: FAIL (no points)
Flushing
The toilet flushes fine, but the flush on the trough is basically running a light stream of water over a giant gross bowl. No decision.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)
Dryers
By some mercy of the lord above, Cuddy's at LEAST decided to use paper towels. They are pretty convenient and there is a not-awful trash can.
Result: PASS (1 point)
Mirrors
Really tiny mugshot mirror over the sink, and if you look in it, you are standing pretty much ON the door. You can't even see if you spilled mustard on your shirt.
Result: FAIL (no points)
Music
The only time you're getting "overhead music" is when the karaoke or DJ are so loud that you can't hear anyone anyway. Nothing extra in the bathrooms, so nothing extra in the point column either.
Result: FAIL (no points)
Reviewer Tilt
Not only is there no extraneous upside to this bathroom ... oh no, that's not enough. I am considering this category "Privacy Pt. II" for Cuddy's, and penalizing an entire extra point for the stupid nonsense they have going on.
Result: no points
Score: 1.5 out of 7 (21.4%)
What This Means For You: This is the worst bathroom that I have reviewed for Commode Node thus far. The epic combination of NEGATIVE privacy and the smell of a barn make this a truly revolting experience. Here's a true story for you: I once got bartender permission to use the GIRLS bathroom so I could avoid the disaster zone they're trying to pass for a mens room here. NOT. RECOMMENDED.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Fox & Hound: King of Prussia, PA
Name: Fox & Hound
Website: http://www.tentcorp.com/index.php
Type: Restaurant
Location: King of Prussia, PA
Occupancy: Multiple
Porcelain: Two toilets, one urinal
Fox & Hound has a special place in my heart as the location where I watched Bud Selig delay Game 5 of the World Series 3 innings too late. I came home and went on a classic meltdown/tirade, and thus will always associate the Phillies with this bar. However, none of this is a bad thing. F&H has two million TVs, and even showed the Flyers in (real) HD during the playoffs! So, how does their King of Prussia location stack up to my (mostly decent) memories of Center City?
Cleanliness
Off to a good start. No puddles or trash (or other unspeakable horrors) that I could see.
Result: PASS (1 point)
Privacy
So, the bathrooms are in the far corner of the seating area. This is a decent decision. Also, the urinal is not the usual "hey everybody look" blowing-in-the-breeze exposed nonsense. However, the bathroom is really cramped, and chances are you are going to bump into someone on even a moderately busy time. Half points.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)
Flushing
Everything worked fine for me!
Result: PASS (1 point)
Dryers
Paper towels are a plus, and they have gone with the "wave your hand like a moron" dispenser. This is good for not having to touch anything gross, but what do you do if there's a jam? I saw no alternative for this situation.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)
Mirrors
Slightly tilted large mirror over the sink. Not enough angle for my liking, and you have to stand in the doorway to get a good look at yourself. This isn't a vanity thing, I just want to make sure I'm not about to walk past a hundred people with my underwear showing. I won't go goose-egg since they DID have a decent mirror, but you need a better effort to fully pass this part of the test.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)
Music
Okay, this is a really complicated judgement call. Good thing: they have overhead music! Bad thing: why not make it the audio to the sports game that everyone at the tables can hear? Good thing: a TV hanging near the ceiling! Bad thing: why is it not showing the Flyers or Phillies when they're on 20 other TVs around the place? I have to go No Decision again, because a simple syncing from bar area to bathroom would let you stay in on the action.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)
Reviewer Tilt
If this Tilt section were about how awesome the bar or food or service was, I'd be giving a full point. As far as the bathroom goes, though, nothing really stood out. I won't penalize, but I won't reward. Yet another middle-of-the-ground call.
Result: .5 points
Score: 4.5 out of 7 (64.3%)
What This Means For You: The bathrooms at Fox & Hound are certainly serviceable, and they're definitely TRYING to make it great by including a TV and music. However, someone needs to get the memo about showing the most important game on the bathroom feed. I saw them changing a channel several times, and about 20 TVs are all in perfect sync with each other ... why not make it 21? Other than that qualm, it was clean and convenient, so WELL DONE!
Website: http://www.tentcorp.com/index.php
Type: Restaurant
Location: King of Prussia, PA
Occupancy: Multiple
Porcelain: Two toilets, one urinal
Fox & Hound has a special place in my heart as the location where I watched Bud Selig delay Game 5 of the World Series 3 innings too late. I came home and went on a classic meltdown/tirade, and thus will always associate the Phillies with this bar. However, none of this is a bad thing. F&H has two million TVs, and even showed the Flyers in (real) HD during the playoffs! So, how does their King of Prussia location stack up to my (mostly decent) memories of Center City?
Cleanliness
Off to a good start. No puddles or trash (or other unspeakable horrors) that I could see.
Result: PASS (1 point)
Privacy
So, the bathrooms are in the far corner of the seating area. This is a decent decision. Also, the urinal is not the usual "hey everybody look" blowing-in-the-breeze exposed nonsense. However, the bathroom is really cramped, and chances are you are going to bump into someone on even a moderately busy time. Half points.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)
Flushing
Everything worked fine for me!
Result: PASS (1 point)
Dryers
Paper towels are a plus, and they have gone with the "wave your hand like a moron" dispenser. This is good for not having to touch anything gross, but what do you do if there's a jam? I saw no alternative for this situation.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)
Mirrors
Slightly tilted large mirror over the sink. Not enough angle for my liking, and you have to stand in the doorway to get a good look at yourself. This isn't a vanity thing, I just want to make sure I'm not about to walk past a hundred people with my underwear showing. I won't go goose-egg since they DID have a decent mirror, but you need a better effort to fully pass this part of the test.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)
Music
Okay, this is a really complicated judgement call. Good thing: they have overhead music! Bad thing: why not make it the audio to the sports game that everyone at the tables can hear? Good thing: a TV hanging near the ceiling! Bad thing: why is it not showing the Flyers or Phillies when they're on 20 other TVs around the place? I have to go No Decision again, because a simple syncing from bar area to bathroom would let you stay in on the action.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)
Reviewer Tilt
If this Tilt section were about how awesome the bar or food or service was, I'd be giving a full point. As far as the bathroom goes, though, nothing really stood out. I won't penalize, but I won't reward. Yet another middle-of-the-ground call.
Result: .5 points
Score: 4.5 out of 7 (64.3%)
What This Means For You: The bathrooms at Fox & Hound are certainly serviceable, and they're definitely TRYING to make it great by including a TV and music. However, someone needs to get the memo about showing the most important game on the bathroom feed. I saw them changing a channel several times, and about 20 TVs are all in perfect sync with each other ... why not make it 21? Other than that qualm, it was clean and convenient, so WELL DONE!
Famous Dave's: Springfield, PA
Name: Famous Dave's
Website: http://www.famousdaves.com/
Type: Restaurant
Location: Springfield, PA
Occupancy: Multiple
Porcelain: Two toilets, one urinal
Famous Dave's is a wonderful BBQ joint that opened up a franchise in Springfield a few years ago. They make a great Cajun Chicken Sandwich, but my personal favorite is their "Devil's Spit" hot sauce. I wish I could buy that sauce and cook with it every night. So, you can spice your food, but can you give an enjoyable bathroom experience as well? Let's find out.
Cleanliness
Being as unbiased as possible, this place was only half clean. It certainly looks presentable, but the floor was a little creepy and the sink trash can was too full for my tastes. I will go halfsies here because it was neither immaculate nor disgusting.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)
Privacy
The "hidden" factor here is wonderful. There are two stalls (one handicapped), and you are actually protected by the side walls! Also, between the adjacent urinal and the sink, there is a really great wall extension that lets you feel private. Add in that the bathrooms are tucked away in the back room and you have a great example of this category.
Result: PASS (1 point)
Flushing
Nothing out of the ordinary, although I only used the urinal and not the stall this time. Still, this wasn't a place that messed this part up (thankfully).
Result: PASS (1 point)
Dryers
Thank goodness, paper towels. Famous Dave's uses one of my preferred towel dispensers: one where a small shred hangs out and you pull down a pre-cut slice. Also, there is a side knob for manual feed if it gets all jammed (which it didn't in my case). Trash can in the sink is always weird to me, but at least it was close to the door.
Result: PASS (1 point)
Mirrors
There is one giant mirror over the two sinks, which is pretty typical for a restaurant. However, it was also tilted, which made me quite happy. You don't get full points if you can see your shoes, but 1/2 ain't too bad.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)
Music
Overhead music! I throw a little party for myself every time I walk into a bathroom and hear music. Also, taking a page from the Tristan Ideal Bathroom Handbook, the music is also LOUDER than it is on the floor. GOOD JOB!
Result: PASS (1 point)
Reviewer Tilt
I can't bring myself to give full tilt points to anything less than a perfect (or mindblowingly original) bathroom, but they definitely earned a half. Also, the indicators for which bathroom to use read "Pointers" and "Setters", which is one of the more creative choices I have seen.
Result: .5 points
Score: 5.5 out of 7 (78.6%)
What This Means For You: Famous Dave's storms up to second place (thus far) on my favorite/recommended bathrooms list. In addition to having a huge, delicious menu, they have made using the toilet a clean and pleasant experience. This can't be said in a not-gross way, but at a BBQ and ribs place, you NEED to be thinking about customers using the bathroom, so it's good to know they had attention to detail. A full tilted mirror and a little more cleanup would push this commode into the upper echelon, but for now it's still really great.
Website: http://www.famousdaves.com/
Type: Restaurant
Location: Springfield, PA
Occupancy: Multiple
Porcelain: Two toilets, one urinal
Famous Dave's is a wonderful BBQ joint that opened up a franchise in Springfield a few years ago. They make a great Cajun Chicken Sandwich, but my personal favorite is their "Devil's Spit" hot sauce. I wish I could buy that sauce and cook with it every night. So, you can spice your food, but can you give an enjoyable bathroom experience as well? Let's find out.
Cleanliness
Being as unbiased as possible, this place was only half clean. It certainly looks presentable, but the floor was a little creepy and the sink trash can was too full for my tastes. I will go halfsies here because it was neither immaculate nor disgusting.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)
Privacy
The "hidden" factor here is wonderful. There are two stalls (one handicapped), and you are actually protected by the side walls! Also, between the adjacent urinal and the sink, there is a really great wall extension that lets you feel private. Add in that the bathrooms are tucked away in the back room and you have a great example of this category.
Result: PASS (1 point)
Flushing
Nothing out of the ordinary, although I only used the urinal and not the stall this time. Still, this wasn't a place that messed this part up (thankfully).
Result: PASS (1 point)
Dryers
Thank goodness, paper towels. Famous Dave's uses one of my preferred towel dispensers: one where a small shred hangs out and you pull down a pre-cut slice. Also, there is a side knob for manual feed if it gets all jammed (which it didn't in my case). Trash can in the sink is always weird to me, but at least it was close to the door.
Result: PASS (1 point)
Mirrors
There is one giant mirror over the two sinks, which is pretty typical for a restaurant. However, it was also tilted, which made me quite happy. You don't get full points if you can see your shoes, but 1/2 ain't too bad.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)
Music
Overhead music! I throw a little party for myself every time I walk into a bathroom and hear music. Also, taking a page from the Tristan Ideal Bathroom Handbook, the music is also LOUDER than it is on the floor. GOOD JOB!
Result: PASS (1 point)
Reviewer Tilt
I can't bring myself to give full tilt points to anything less than a perfect (or mindblowingly original) bathroom, but they definitely earned a half. Also, the indicators for which bathroom to use read "Pointers" and "Setters", which is one of the more creative choices I have seen.
Result: .5 points
Score: 5.5 out of 7 (78.6%)
What This Means For You: Famous Dave's storms up to second place (thus far) on my favorite/recommended bathrooms list. In addition to having a huge, delicious menu, they have made using the toilet a clean and pleasant experience. This can't be said in a not-gross way, but at a BBQ and ribs place, you NEED to be thinking about customers using the bathroom, so it's good to know they had attention to detail. A full tilted mirror and a little more cleanup would push this commode into the upper echelon, but for now it's still really great.
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