Welcome to Commode Node.

You may remember me as that guy who writes at The Burrito Stand. Well, I'm back with another blog, but this one is a little different. This one is about bathrooms.

That's right, bathrooms. If you're picky and OCD like I am, then you enjoy knowing ahead of time what you're in for when it comes to a lavatory. Lucky for you, I'm here to help. I will be writing up reviews of the different bathrooms I encounter, based on the following criteria:

~ Cleanliness: Obviously, this is a big one. How clean is the bathroom? Is there a nice air freshener routinely masking our horrible odors, or are there dank paper towels strewn about and a woft of South Philly in the air?

~ Privacy: Single occupancy, or multiple? Are there little separators between urinals? Can you easily see through the cracks in the stall walls?

~ Flushing: Is there a lever, knob, or button? Is there one of those sensors that does it automatically? Is the flush splashy and incomplete?

~ Dryers: Paper towels or heat-based dryers? Are the trash cans convenient or hidden, and are they overflowing with awfulness?

~ Mirrors: Can you see most or your body in the mirrors, or will you risk dragging a piece of toilet paper back into the establishment on your shoe? How much effort does it take to make sure your fly is up?

~ Music: Is there sound coming through on the overhead speakers, or are you left alone with your shame in a loud, echo-filled chamber of flatulence?

~ Reviewer Tilt: The "wild card" category, where I arbitrarily decide how much I enjoyed my bathroom experience.

Now, as you might assume, most of the bathrooms reviewed will be at restaurants. However, don't rule out malls, retail stores, or Quik-E-Marts.

I hope you enjoy this blog. I'll sure enjoy writing it.