Kildare's: West Chester, PA

Name: Kildare's
Website: http://www.kildarespub.com/main.htm
Type: Restaurant
Location: West Chester, PA
Occupancy: Multiple
Porcelain: One toilet, two urinals

Kildare's is a Philly franchise of Irish pubs. There are a few within driving distance, and they're always a fun time. The night life is actually pretty substantial, which is surprising for such a nice and calm-ish restaurant. Today I ate their "European Union burger" which was pretty damn tasty. Okay, on to the real business.

Cleanliness
The bathroom is fairly clean, although the floors were wet and the trash can was overflowing. It certainly didn't scream "highway rest stop cesspool", but I wouldn't eat a dinner off of the floor either. This is a no-contest to me.
Result: NO DECISION (0.5 points)

Privacy
Here is where the problems begin. First of all, the door opens directly into the space of whoever is using the sink. The two urinals are pretty wide-open, with the urinals themselves extending less than you might expect (and no dividers in between). The door of the stall shows too much detail as well. If you work for the CIA, this is not where you want to conduct any sort of meeting.
Result: FAIL (no points)

Flushing
I only used the urinal, but that was all I needed to be completely skeeved. In the grand tradition of the 18th century, the urinals DO NOT FLUSH. Instead they are angled downward "enough" to drain whatever you're dispensing. I don't care if the stall had a scientific revolution of flushing technology, these urinals are awful. Also, the urinal cakes somehow smelled WORSE than a normal bathroom does.
Result: FAIL (no points)

Dryers
Okay, Kildare's did do one thing extremely well. The soap AND towel dispensers were both wave-motion-activated, and the trash can was right next to both the sink and the door. Quite a great example of how this sort of thing should work.
Result: PASS (1 point)

Mirrors
NO MIRRORS. NO. MIRRORS. Are you kidding me, guys? There wasn't even a reflective surface to be found. I wish I could give negative points here.
Result: FAIL (no points)

Music
On the plus side, the bathroom is fairly close to the speaker/DJ system, so you get a lot of incidental noise masking the very presence of the john. On the minus side, NO OVERHEAD MUSIC.
Result: FAIL (no points)

Reviewer Tilt
I have to be fair here; the decor was very nice in this bathroom. Interesting signs highlighted both cool beer logos and Irish history. If this were a cleaner and/or bigger bathroom, the atmosphere would be a great plus. As it stands, it simply saves it from being a true dumpster.
Result: .5 points

Score: 2.0 out of 7 (28.6%)

What This Means For You: If I had to give a quick summary, this bathroom is like putting a delicious chocolate icing on top of a gym sock sandwich. The design is completely backwards, and the lack of real flushing in the urinals makes it feel like a barn or something. Weird smells, a million paper towels in the trash, barely enough floor space to stand still ... someone missed the interior design train big-time. The signs on the wall were neat, but that doesn't make up for an extremely piss-poor (pun intended) effort. Definitely go to Kildare's for the food, but hold it on the ride home.